Is this paragraph well written (2)?

Yes, it's beautifully written. I understand what you are writing about, and the main purpose of your writing of this essay. The only thing I could suggest is to make the beginning more exciting, to make your reader want to continue reading. It seems very formal, and quite frankly, boring. If this is what your teacher wants, then that is fine. But, I learned to write my essays with an interesting beginning that catches the attention of the reader. Good luck with your paper!